Dear Apple Customer: Thank you for checking our Battery Exchange Program page for the eligibility of your 12-inch PowerBook G4’s accompanying battery for replacement. According to our records, your battery is is covered under this program.
So congratulations, it stands a better-than-usual chance of blowing up! And when we say “blowing up,” we mean it in the old school way, not in the way that young kids were bandying about five years ago as a euphemism for “getting really popular.”
We’d like to ship you a replacement battery before you sue us. Unfortunately, the ZIP code that you’ve entered as part of your shipping address, “10018,” doesn’t agree with our own internal database for some unspecified reason. In spite of the fact that you’ve checked it multiple times and that you have items shipped to that exact address and ZIP code regularly, we᾿re still unable to recognize it.
Rather than entering the city, state and ZIP as “New York, NY 10018,” may we suggest that you enter it instead as “New York, NY 10018”? If that doesn’t work, perhaps you can use one of the alternative city names we’ve provided, e.g., “Manhattan” or “Midtown,” even though no one really uses those anyway and our system won’t recognize them either.
Good luck and please check the batteries in your smoke alarms (especially if Sony made them)!
Sincerely,
Apple Computer, Inc.