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Sith Time’s the Charm

In the run-up to the final installment in the Star Wars canon, the franchise characters have recently been seen hocking everything from breakfast cereal to cell phones. It’s the customary level of endorsement pervasiveness that makes it hard to ignore this long-awaited but not necessarily highly anticipated final chapter. All of which conspired to convince me to set aside my surprising indifference and sit down to watch the two trailers available over at StarWars.com this afternoon. While I’m enthusiastic about seeing Wookies and the return of Darth Vader proper, overall it’s fair to say that I’m not particularly optimistic about “Episode III” at all.

In my ad hoc review of “Episode II,” written way back in May 2002 and almost immediately after rushing out to see the movie, I wrote:

“…Even after two blown opportunities, people are still willing to believe that [Lucas will] pull it off. I’m one of them.”

Something happened in the intervening three years, and I longer feel so charitable. Given a bit more hindsight, the first two installments seem worse than ever, true examples of bloated Hollywood disasters. What makes me more upset than anything is thinking about how thoroughly Lucas blew it. Given money, freedom and immense fan credulity, he came up with two thorough embarrassments. Really, the only question on my mind — and on the minds of everyone I know — is: “How much is ‘Episode III’ going to completely and unequivocally suck?” I’ll be more than happy if it turns out to not suck very much at all, but neither am I willing to take part in trying to make its opening weekend a blockbuster financial success this time. I’ll wait.

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