Music to Chew Gum To

Khoi

20 years ago

The Virgin College Megatour must have rolled into town this weekend or something, because when I climbed into a cab last night with some freinds on our way to a comedy show, we found an unopened compact disc sampler that someone had inadvertently (or not) left on the seat. The disc was labeled “Feel the Intensity,” and it’s one of the most absurd pieces of marketing that I’ve ever come across.

Below: sugarless gum brings us together. The Dentyne imprimatur does little for the musicians’ street cred on this CD cover.

Obviously the result of some MBA’s calculus of music marketing and corporate sponsorship, this CD cynically — almost brazenly — seeks to unite the dodgy earnestness of up and coming, major label alternative music acts (a genre I have been despising passionately since the hey day of Dave Matthews) with the, er, rebelliousness of Dentyne Ice and Dentyne Fire sugarless gums. Pretty punk rock, right? I’m pretty sure that well-groomed aspirants to the throne of complaint rock like Gavin DeGraw, Michael Tolcher, Katy Rose, Charlotte Martin and Ben Kweller never intended to put their musicianship in service to the sale of chewing gum, but there they are, with two tracks a piece on this farce of a music compilation. You would think that, with fresh breath and the dental benefits of chewing sugarless gum, at least one of them would smile on the cover of their debut albums, but no such luck. Anyway, if anyone wants a free CD, let me know.