My Review of “Kill Bill Vol. 2”

Kill Bill Vol. 2Kill Bill Vol. 2” is a really good movie. I liked it a lot. I liked when Uma Thurman’s character actually killed Bill. That was good because it made the title make a lot of sense. If she had killed all those people but never killed Bill, then the title would have been wrong. They might have had to name the movie something like “Kill a Lot of People.” But they didn’t have to, because Uma kills Bill at the end. It was actually kind of sad when she killed him, but he deserved it because he tried to kill her first. Whoever tries to kill someone first, the other person has a right kill them back. That’s the law. That’s why George W. Bush wanted to kill Saddam so bad, because Saddam tried to kill him first. Well, Saddam tried to kill his dad first but his dad has the same name as him, so it counts.

Anyway, Uma is really good in this movie. I liked the way she looks like she couldn’t kill you on account of she might be on a no-carb diet, but she can really kill you bad if she has to. In this movie she kills Michael Madsen, who looks fatter than the last time I saw him in a movie, but maybe he gained some weight for the part, like Rene Zellweger did for “Bridget Jones’s Diary.” He’s really dangerous in this movie. You can tell because he’s always squinting all the time and smoking cigarettes. Everybody knows cigarettes can kill you but Michael Madsen doesn’t care. I bet a good movie would be Michael Madsen fighting David Caruso for control of the world. It would be a really serious movie, because both Michael Madsen and David Caruso are so serious.

Uma also kills Daryl Hannah who is really scary because she’s tall like a supermodel. Supermodels aren’t scary but Daryl Hannah is scary in this movie. Daryl Hannah used to be a mermaid once until Forrest Gump cured her, but I guess when she grew two legs she lost an eye, because she has an eye patch in this movie. I like the way Uma killed her, but I thought of an easier way which would be to keep her out of water for a long time and then she’d die, like Aquaman.

There’s a lot of talking in “Kill Bill Vol. 2.” The writer and director, Quentin Tarantino, wrote a lot of words for everyone to say, which is good so no one feels left out. I like the way he wrote no words for Lucy Liu, so she didn’t have to appear in this movie, because it made the movie a lot better than “Kill Bill Vol. 1.”

The people in this movie talk a lot. They always have something to say even when they’re about to kill someone else, which is weird to me because if you’ve got so much to say, you would kinda figure you’d want to keep someone around for a long time so you’d have someone to listen to you. But I guess people watching the movie would get bored of all that talking and no killing, so it’s good that every once in a while someone dies. I figure there was someone in charge of all the killings to help Quentin Tarantino out. Maybe the key grip. Like, Quentin Tarantino might forget to kill someone for fifteen minutes because everyone’s talking, and the key grip probably says, “Hey, don’t forget to kill someone,” and Quentin Tarantino says, “Oh thanks for reminding me.” The key grip or whoever did a good job, because there’s a lot of killing and stuff in this movie.

In conclusion, if you want to go see a good movie, go see “Kill Bill Vol. 2.”

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6 Comments

  1. Your review is really good. I like it because you say a lot of nice things about the film, but give those things two edges like a sword, so I’m never sure if you mean them or not. I also like your review because a lot of film reviewers shy away from the real issues, like if Daryl Hannah is a mermaid, or if Michael Madsen is fat, but you didn’t.

  2. I think your review is really good, but don’t agree with it. Firstly, is what you say about the movie’s title. Kill Bill is what the book about the Panda calls an imperative decleration. It means that Bill can kill. Not what you said it meant it did. Which was the mermaid could kill him. Now Bill is dead and so, furthermore, there can’t be another movie where Bill kills anyone. This makes me a mad. But my favorite was all the swordfighting.

  3. Yo, Daryl Hannah didn’t die, Uma left her flailing around in the bathroom.

    Even during the credits at the end when they were crossing out the names of the actors that were killed, Daryl had a big question mark next to her name.

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